


What planet are we on, exactly?

by gunslingaaahhh



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010), Transformers (Bay Movies)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-03-28
Updated: 2011-03-28
Packaged: 2017-10-24 23:20:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,316
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/269014
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gunslingaaahhh/pseuds/gunslingaaahhh





	What planet are we on, exactly?

Steve had just about screamed when he'd gotten the memo; to admit that he'd been on the verge of _shrieking_ , like a little girl going to a boy band concert, would've been _way_ too embarrassing. No, he'd had to bite his tongue to control the urge to vocalize his euphoric joy, to force his muscles to remain still and not make his body dance around his office like he'd just won the lottery.

Chin, who was at the surface table going over some leads, could see him and was making a face. He was confused, sure, but also slightly concerned -- when Steve got like this, got fucking _giddy_ about things, the chances of the team having a quiet or normal day were thrown out the window. Steve giddy meant ridiculous car chases, buildings being blown up, and perps being tackled to the ground like they were on a football field and not some stretch of cement.

Gathering his paperwork, Chin slowly backed his way towards his office, closing the door behind him and locking it for good measure. He was having a relatively good day and really, getting involved with the Boss's madness was Danny's gig.

No sooner had the thoughts floated through his brain when Danny and Kono came barging in, papers and arms flying between the two of them. They were jazzed up about something, talking over one another in their haste to spit out all of the information they'd learned. Danny pauses, though, when he notices that both Chin and Steve are in their respective offices, one looking like he's on top of the world and the other looking like he's thinking of creative ways to fit underneath his desk.

Kono raises a brow before ducking into her cousin's office, stacks of paper in her hands. Danny shakes his head, smiling, before letting himself into Steve's office. He's preparing to speak, has just sucked in the breath necessary to begin when Steve literally jumps out of his chair and grabs Danny by the shoulders. Danny's sails deflate almost immediately as he holds on for dear life, Steve spinning him around, dipping and twirling.

After a point Danny can feel motion sickness coming on and plants his feet, abruptly putting an end to their little dance lesson. He just stands there, hair mussed, tie askew, hands on hips and _staring_ at Steve like he's grown an extra set of heads.

"What in the-- Steven! What is the matter with you?"

"Danny, you will _not_ believe the intel I just got! It's like... oh man, it is _insane_ and so amazing. This has to be the most incredible... holy crap!"

"... you use those words to describe _intel?_ Damn, your brain really _is_ a miserable place. And, uh, 'holy crap'? Really, that's what you're going with?"

"Just read it," and Steve shoves the memo under Danny's nose. Danny takes it, smoothing it out -- because Steve had had it clutched in his fist like it was a priceless artifact -- and begins to read. The farther down the page he gets, the higher on his forehead his eyebrows go. He reads and re-reads, because there's no way this is for real, no way this nonsense is true. He glances at Steve over the top of the paper, assessing. Steve is bouncing in place, a ridiculous smile on his face. He reminds Danny of that time Grace ate all her Halloween candy at once, and the image makes him shudder.

"Let's just say, for the sake of argument, that I believe any of what is written here; I don't see why any of the words you used to describe this situation make any sense or are at all appropriate. Normal people do not associate things like 'amazing' with 'potential alien invasion.' Normal people may associate 'insane' with something like that, but definitely not 'amazing,' certainly not 'incredible.'"

"Aren't you listening?! Danny, this is a once-in-a-lifetime mission!"

"Whoa whoa whoa, time-out, _mission?_ Where does it--"

"Here, right here, see, clearly stated here it says 'mission' and 'request' and 'don't you even try to tell me no, Danno.'"

Danny deadpans, just staring. Steve can't take his frank disbelief seriously, though, with his hair still a mess like that. Instead, he rips the memo away and goes back to his desk, taking the phone and cradling the earpiece between his ear and shoulder. He's dialing, and seconds later Danny hears the Governor's voice on the other end. He rolls his eyes, folding his arms across his chest. He watches Steve listen, the excitement never leaving his face. The longer the Governor talks, the more Danny begins to feel uneasy; Lady Governor does not play games, and if this were some joke or elaborate hoax she'd have hung up by now.

No, the way Steve is listening and jotting things down, Danny thinks this is actually the real-deal, and a little moan forces itself from his lips.

"Aha, see! She got the same memo, requesting my assistance! You can't even deny it, Danny, this is for real and I am so going."

"You don't know anything about this, Steve! What information do you have about _any_ of this shit, hmm?"

"None right now, but I'll have more soon. Tomorrow morning, first thing, I'm leaving to meet up with a Major Lennox and his team."

"His team. Tomorrow morning."

"Yup, that's what I--"

"No, now wait just a damned minute! You're just-- you're just gonna up and leave the three of us to deal with whatever comes up while you go off on some potentially deadly, DNA-mutating wild goose chase?!"

Steve watches him rant, eyes following the movement of his hands out of habit. He can see Kono and Chin standing outside the office door watching, perplexed. He waves them away, holding up a finger for them to wait before putting another hand up and telling Danny to stop. The smaller man does, but he's still fuming and his hands are balled into fists at his sides. Steve takes his arm and guides him out of the office, so the four of them are standing in a circle.

"I am taking this mission," he says, looking all of them in the eye. "I'm leaving Chin in charge and" -- he pauses, cutting Danny off before he can get vocally indignant -- "Danny is coming with me."

Three sets of eyes turn to Danny, who is speechless for probably one of the few times in his life. He just gapes at Steve, mouth opening and closing a few times. He waves his arms, punctuating speech that isn't there and Steve just smiles, clapping a hand on his back. He hands over the memo to Chin, who scans it with a frown.

"This... isn't a joke?" he asks, a little hopefully.

"Nope, no joke."

"So you're really going to... South Africa... to fight and kill some alien... what's that say, alien _robots?_ "

"Yup."

"That... is _so fucking cool_ ," Kono breathes, reading the memo over her cousin's arm, eyes wide. "Can I come, too?"

"You do that, who's going to back me up?" Chin asks, punching her in the shoulder a little. He turns his attention back to Steve and Danny, who still hasn't found his voice. "And this is a safe thing? You're going to trust this guy Lennox and his team?"

"They've been doing this for the better part of a year now, them and the other aliens, so yeah I guess I have to trust them."

"Better you than me, brah," Chin mutters under his breath. "Good luck, guys."

~*~

The entire flight, Danny rants. Steve's heard him go at it for long periods of time, but never like this; this is a never ending stream of sound and syllable, and unlike every other time, it _stays on topic._ Normally when Danny rants, he starts out on one thing, goes with it for ten minutes, and then remembers something else he wanted to drill into Steve's Neanderthal brain. The cycle continues like that for hours, sometimes, but never like this.

"Danny, save some oxygen for the rest of us, huh?" Steve mutters while Danny once again expands on the dangers of hanging out with Marines. He rolls his eyes and doesn't bother to look at his partner, though he can feel his hands dissecting the air around them with well-timed chops.

When they land, they are met by Lennox, and Steve likes him immediately. The guy is about his age, and loves what he does, that much Steve can tell.

"What've you heard about the big boys?" he asks, walking them towards command central.

"Not a whole heck of a lot; I've seen things on TV, but all of that is usually speculation."

"Don't believe what the media tells you about these guys; they're awesome." Lennox is smiling, leading them into an airplane hangar.

Danny struggles to keep up, his bad knee stiff from being on the plane for so long. He hates his shoes -- smaller versions of the ones Steve always wears -- because they pinch from being so new, he hates his clothes -- desert-colored fatigues -- because they are about as ill-fitting as humanly possible and make him look like a little kid in dad's pajamas. Most of all, though, he hates that he's just walked into a large room and is staring at something he'd never thought he'd ever see: a giant robot man.

The sight stops him dead in his tracks and he can feel his jaw falling open, resting on his chest. Steve and Lennox come back to stand on either side of him.

"Pretty crazy, huh?" Lennox says, slinging an arm around Danny's shoulders. "His name is Optimus Prime, and he is one _badass_ motherfucker. He's also one super pimped out semi," he adds, chuckling a little.

"None of this bothers you, huh? None of this is strange or frightening or, I dunno, _wrong_ for you at all?" Danny asks, head swiveling as he looks at one man then the other.

Steve looks like he's died and gone to heaven, eyes wide and goofy smile firmly in place. He looks like he's on the verge of exploding, and Danny hopes he actually does, so that they have an excuse to abort and go home.

"Detective Williams, I know you're just along for the ride, but there's really nothing to worry about with these guys; it's the other ones you gotta be concerned with."

" _Other_... ones?"

"Yeah, the one's we're going after, the bad ones, the Decepticons. These guys, Optimus' team? Are the Autobots, the good guys, our buddies."

"Huh." Danny can feel his brain trying to force him into a coma of some kind, but he shakes his head to get rid of the fog and turns to Steve, placing hands on his arms and shaking him.

"Please, pleaseplease _please_ let's just go home, ok?"

"Are you kidding?! No way, this is _awesome_ ," Steve practically shouts, tearing himself away and moving to get closer to the giant robot man and his friends.

"This is not happening, please dear _lord_ , tell me this is _not happening_ ," Danny mutters, rubbing at his face with his hands.

~*~

Two hours later and they're on the move, in pursuit of a Decepticon. Lennox has briefed them as much as he can, but he does have to lead the team, so he leaves Steve and Danny in the care of one of the other soldiers.

"So they can change, right, they can change what they look like and to us, if we're not paying attention, they're cars or trucks or jets. We use a couple'a different radars and we can pick 'em up that way, but a lot of the time it doesn't matter cuz they know we're comin', so they change and rabbit."

"What's their weaponry like?" Steve asks, elbows on his knees, eyes glittering with joy. Danny just heaves a sigh, slouching lower on the bench. They're in some kind of tank or something, crammed like sardines with a bunch of other guys, all smelly and sweaty and carrying fifty-pound packs. The guy, Manning, happily describes to Steve -- in agonizing detail -- just what a shot from one of these things can do, and Danny resists the urge to vomit.

"Whoa whoa, we got movement," one of the radar guys calls, and instantly every man in the tank -- except for Danny, of course -- begins readying their weapons. Steve has gone into combat mode beside him and Danny closes his eyes, praying they don't get blown up or decapitated or evaporated.

"Let's move!" comes the call, and everyone is out of the tank and running beneath the hot sun.

The are is bordering on rural and suburban; people live here, but they're farming mostly. This is good, Lennox had told them, because it lowers the amount of causalities. More often than not, no matter what precautions they take, people end up getting hurt and property ends up getting destroyed, and Danny thinks for a second that Steve himself is some sort of alien robot.

The Decepticon had been moonlighting as a large piece of farming equipment but quickly comes to life, it's parts moving until it's standing on two legs, firing shots from cannons that suddenly sprang out of it's arms. Danny can hear screaming, isn't sure of where it's coming from, but then realizes it's him, because it stops when Steve throws an arm around his neck and pulls him down and under cover.

Lennox is barking orders, his men moving into position as the other robots, the good ones, move in on the Decepticon. Danny can see them, is awed by their size and how easily one of them could just squash him like a bug. The thought threatens to make him sick; he doesnt have time to vomit, though, because Steve is dragging him through the dirt with one hand and firing his weapon with the other. _How the hell does he even_ , Danny thinks before something explodes to their right and blows them away.

They fly before hitting the ground, and Danny is rolling instinctively, trying to protect his organs. Steve is right beside him, a cut across the bridge of his nose spilling blood down his face.

"You ok?!" he barks in Danny's face, and Danny nods stupidly, reaching up to wipe some of the blood away. Steve slaps at the hand before getting up, barking an order for Danny to stay where he was. He watches the taller man go, covered in dust and blood and blending in relatively well, all things considered.

Scuttling backwards, Danny finds himself up against the side of what was once a barn. He moves slowly, crouched low, towards his right, trying to stay out of sight. He's got a great view of the action, and if this were some silly movie he'd be thrilled, the view is so good. But it isn't he's _here,_ right fucking _here_ in the middle of everything and he can't handle it. He's moving, eyes on the action when he hears something odd, high pitched and mechanical to his right. Pausing, he turns his head slowly and stops breathing.

Another one of the things, the robots, is next to him. It's a bad one -- Lennox explained the symbols -- but it appears to not have noticed him. Danny can feel his stomach rolling over, and angrily tells himself that today will _not_ be the day Danny Williams shits his pants. Instead, he gets stock still and slides down, butt touching the ground. He holds his breath and waits, wondering how long before someone notices when the thing _moves_ , stepping out from around the side of the barn. It has some kind of blaster or ray-gun out and ready, and Danny gasps in horror when he sees that Steve is _in the line of fire._

There's no thought, no rational decision making, just the need to go, to run. Danny is full-out sprinting across the dirt, practically flying, shouting that there was another one, for Steve to move. One of the Autobots sees and begins firing, but not before the Decepticon takes it's own target practice.

Danny leaps and flies through the air, catching Steve around the middle, tackling him to the ground and rolling them both. The Decepticon shot misses them by only a few feet, and the force of it knocks them further.

"What the _hel_ _l_ is the matter with you?!" Danny shouts into Steve's face, hands on his shoulders and shaking. "I'm running around like a _maniac_ , screaming your name, and you don't even turn around?! That thing could've-- it might've-- oh my _Jesus_ , you almost--" and he can't finish, just squashes their lips together, trying to convey all the emotion he's feeling into a kiss. Steve grunts, shocked at first, before pushing Danny away and standing, hauling the other man with him.

"We'll do this later, ok, right now I'm busy so just... hold that thought," he says apologetically before shoving Danny towards one of the Marines, who grabs him and shoves him behind cover.

~*~

The hospital is small, and smells a little funny, but beyond that it's just like home. Which means Steve doesn't like it and is being as difficult as humanly possible. He's sitting on the bed, wrapped up in his hospital johnny and stuck every which way with IVs and bandages. There's a gigantic bandage across his nose and he looks like some sort of animal. Danny has been spending the last twenty minutes trying to figure out _which_ animal, but he's at a loss. 

He walks closer to the bed and pulls up a chair, sitting beside. Steve glances at him out of the corner of his eye and smiles a little.

"Sorry..."

"About what? Needing to be medically examined? Need I remind you this is not the first time, Steven, nor will it be the last."

"No, I meant about... the later."

"Later?" Danny asks, eyebrows quirking. "Later what?"

"Later about... what happened out there... when you knocked me over." Steve is looking a little unsure, although it could just be his blood-shot eyes -- a result of all that sand -- and the ridiculous bandage.

"Oh, you mean about me _kissing_ you," Danny replies, leaning back in his chair and folding his hands on his belly. "Crime of passion, no big deal."

"No big-- oh," Steve says quietly, looking confused and a little crest-fallen. Danny watches him, eyes searching, before reaching out and smacking Steve on the arm lightly.

"Oh, _c'mon_ you big idiot, I'm just kidding. Granted, it _was_ sort of a crime of passion, but one I meant."

"Really?"

"Yes, _really._ You drag me half-way around the world so _you_ can fight giant alien robots, almost get us both killed, and force me to take action... do you think I would've done all of that if I didn't... _you know?_ "

Steve smiles a little, the beginnings of that big, dopey, goofy one he gets sometimes, and Danny feels himself blushing a little. He swats the other man on the arm again, grinning despite himself.

"But really, about later," Steve begins, waggling his eyebrows a little. Danny throws his head back and laughs, clutching his sides, legs kicking a little. Steve watches him, brows furrowing before he joins in; Danny's laughter is infectious, he can't help it.

"Who-- who _ever_ decided that your moniker should be ' _Smooth Dog_ ' needs-- needs to be _evaluated_ ," Danny gasps around his laughter, bent at the waist and putting his head between his knees.

"Hey, I'm injured, I might have brain damage or something," Steve says, pouting a little. Danny catches his breath and stands, leaning over Steve's body and bringing his face in close. He presses his lips to Steve's cheek, then his forehead, before descending upon his lips. It's a short kiss, but sweet nonetheless.

"Babe, you were brain damaged _long_ before this moment, believe me."  



End file.
